We were reviewing a lot of the stuff from post surgery tonight and it is so hard not knowing any answers. I had felt so good when leaving the hospital, but after being home a few days, everything started going down hill. The pain was my 1st issue, and got some things started to find out what is going on.
Then, I got that lovely Delayed onset of Facial Paralysis, and the bit of swelling in the brain still. The facial paraylsis is dealing with that whole left side of my face. It causes issues to the eye too because it won't close, so I'm round the clock dealing with eye stuff. Seems like we've already spent a fortune in eye drops, ointments, etc. trying to see what works the best. Then, the facial paralysis has caused the swellling, etc. and nerves by my left side of nose are swollen inside. Well, I have a deviated septum that with that combo ends up blocking off the breathing there. sigh.... We also thought I originally had my hearing preserved, but it to isn't working and sometimes feels like there is a heavy rock in that part of my head. The tinnitus, which is the ear noises, seem to be getting worse also. I can't stand multiple noises right now. Too much can give me headache and make me feel nauseous.
Do have to say though that the eye sight has been back good and normal overall. Due to the dry eye and the lid not closing on the left side, I need to block it off and keep it moist. At least I don't have the double vision and spins anymore. I also seem to have a pretty good balance back overall. I've been told I walk a little crooked once in awhile, but that is getting better too. The sleep is still very on & off, but it's not like I need to be anywhere (or like I could stand it much anyways), so I get the rest as soon as I need it.
Sorry for what sounds to be negative, I really hate to be that way. I've had many comment on me being strong, but last evening I hit the bottom again. Neil is there for me and I am very thankful. I've also got lots of family and friends helping out with the kids, etc. With it being 1/2 days of school and the holiday long weekend and Neil working, I've actuall asked people to help out with the boys (something we don't usually do). But I want them to be still having a nice time and not stuck here with me wanting the quite time, etc.
Being Thanksgiving day, I want to wish you all a Happy one! I want to let everyone know how THANKFUL I am for everything. I also want to put out a super, big, special THANKS to the helpful members of the ANA forum/support site. You guys have been through a lot of it too and understand.
Have a nice day! And even though I'm gonna spend my Thanksgiving alone (which I NEED to do), I am very Thankful to the Lord for all of the wonderful people and things he has sent my way! For the rest of you, please be sure he too is on the top of your list!
P.S. Please don't take this to negative, it is helping me with my emotional part of this crazy journey!!
I know you won't be having your traditional Thanksgiving Day - but it sounds like you are at least progressing in the right direction. Praise the Lord. We are thinking of you!! I'm pretty sure you will never be interpreted as negative and whining Denise - you have been through ssoooooo much in body and soul. Don't be so hard on yourself! Take care!! Love ya, Tam
ReplyDeleteHi Denise,
ReplyDeleteIt is sooo great to see you posting!! You have been missed. I haven't had much time to post as I am working a TON this week/weekend (including tonight-ugh) but will be on my LOA beginning in December. I am hoping we can talk then! I will try to catch up on your blog tomorrow. I feel so bad for all you have gone through and are still going through. You are in my prayers! Thank you for the great updates too. It helps so much to know what to expect and what can and may happen. I want to be prepared for anything. I don't see your posts as being negative. I think you are just being honest and there's nothing wrong with that! This is major surgery and unless someone has actually gone through it (like our fellow ANers) they will never know what you are going through (and each person will have a different experience too). I have my mom who really understands what I am going through. Although she didn't have an AN she had major brain surgery about 2 years and really understands. There are plenty of others who don't though...and that's ok. That's why we ANers have each other! ;) Happy Thanksgiving my friend! Enjoy your day, rest up and we'll talk soon!
Bren~